Wasted Talent: Parody
Sometimes my friends post things on Facebook that are just begging for a response in verse.
Frost
Prompt:
This road, it did not lead exactly where I thought it led.
[...]
Actual road. I took a few of the unofficial trails that cut through the woods between the various office parks around here looking for the coffee shop and ended up one cul-de-sac further north than I wanted. This was an ultimately rectifiable mistake, I got my coffee, and had a beautiful walk.
[...]
The guys smoking on that loading dock were pretty surprised to see me emerge from the woods so I'm guessing they don't get too many passers-through.
Response:
Cream and Sugar Not Taken
Two trails split off past the office park, And sorry I could not go both ways In the time allowed for a coffee break - So the cruel reward for a path mistake Was to finish the day in a drowsy haze -
I looked down one as long as I could, And it seemed quite straight and kept up well, But it veered before I thought it should, So I picked the other, what the hell, It looked about right, though I couldn't quite tell Its course, since it passed right through the wood.
On the trail I took I found that soon The overgrowth cast shadows black. Oh, I lost a good part of the afternoon Winding around, and not too soon I found myself in a cul-de-sac.
Two stevedores smoking, both jaded guys, When I emerged from the woods that day, Betrayed their sudden frank surprise, Which I could read in those veteran eyes, And told me the coffeeshop wasn't that way.
I backtracked doubletime to the fork, To rectify my first mistake, And by the end of my coffee break, I'd bought my coffee and come back to work.
Beatles
Prompt:
Downtown, Bethesda, Maryland.
Waiting for the Tripper Bus
Response:
This is the season, affordable routes out of town This is the season, affordable routes out of town, now
She rides a Bus Tripper, one way ticket, yeah It took me so long to find out, and I found out
She's in Bethesda, she's waiting for her bus there She's in Bethesda, she's waiting for her bus there, now
She rides a Bus Tripper, one way ticket, yeah It took me so long to find out, and I found out
Sesame
Prompt:
Light purple cummerbund You know you're my only one Don't need no date to the prom When I've got a light purple cummerbund on
Response:
Light-purple cummerbund, you're the one You make black-tie lots of fun Light-purple cummerbund, I'm awfully fond of you.
Bo-Bo-Bo-Be-Do
Light-purple cummerbund, smile of smiles Your color can be seen for miles Light-purple cummerbund, you're my very best bund, it's true.
Doo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Be
Every day when I make my way to the gala I find a little waist-sash who makes me the dapperest fella. Light-purple a-durple cummerbund
Light-purple cummerbund, you're the one You make black-tie lots of fun Light-purple cummerbund, I'm awfully fond of you.
Frost 2
Prompt 1:
Off to go cross-country skiing on a frozen lake.
Response 1:
My facebook friends will think it dope To ski where there is not a slope Upon a flat and frozen lake Whose fish have long abandoned hope.
Prompt 2:
Finger Lake: skiid across. In a snowstorm.
Response 2:
The sky astorm, the air asnow, By ski is how I wish to go. No one would find me should I fall Until the spring sun's melting glow.
Perhaps it seems bizarre to all, but since my car is light and small I harnessed it to pull my rope, Ghost-skied the whip, no work at all.
My Facebook friends will think it dope To ski where there is not a slope Upon a flat and frozen lake Whose fish have long abandoned hope.
My cold and weary hands will shake If I ride long without a break. I must reach land, or ice, though deep, under my small car's weight will break.
The lake is lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.
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